Guest blog written by Anne Raw, Counsellor in Sheffield
If you are searching for grief counselling after parent loss, you may be feeling overwhelmed and unsure where to turn for support.
Losing your mum or dad or the person you see as your mother or father is something that touches us all at some point in life. Parents are such important figures. Their death can be expected or unexpected, happen after a long illness or very suddenly. However it happens, I know it can be deeply painful and life changing.
If you’re reading this because you’ve lost your mum or dad or both of them, I want to say how truly sorry I am for your losses. No matter your age, background, or when it happened, the loss of a mother or father can bring a unique kind of grief that touches every part of life. It can also make us question our place in the world and bring up many different emotions.
Grief is a very personal experience. No two people go through it in quite the same way. Feelings can change from moment to moment, and there’s no right or wrong way to grieve.
How you feel may depend on your relationship you had with your mum or dad: whether it was close, complicated, or somewhere in between.
You may have siblings and other family members who are grieving too, and this can sometimes bring people together or cause tension. Navigating all of this can feel like uncharted territory.
There are often many practical things that need to be done at a time when you may feel least able to cope.
You might find yourself trying to support other family members, this may include the remaining parent too. It can be difficult to come to terms with this loss in your life while managing your own emotions.
Having a safe space to talk during grief counselling after parent loss can give you time to express what you are experiencing, without needing to look after anyone else’s emotions.
In the midst of everything that needs to be done; letting people know, registering the death, arranging the funeral, sorting through finances and practical matters, it’s easy to forget about yourself. All of this can feel overwhelming, especially if you’re also working, managing a home, or caring for others.
You may also have witnessed things that haunt or worry you relating to your mum or dad’s death and may be in shock for a period of time.
You may feel numb or notice that your sleep, appetite, or concentration have changed. You might find family relationships become strained under the weight of grief.
Grief can bring up a wide mix of emotions; sadness, anger, guilt, confusion, relief, or even peace, sometimes all in the same day or even in the same hour. You might also notice physical symptoms such as tiredness or tension.
It’s natural to question your sense of identity, your place in the family, or even your connection to the past. Certain times of year, like birthdays, anniversaries or holidays can bring everything back to the surface too.
Grief counselling after parent loss acknowledges that your emotions may feel unpredictable and helps you make sense of them at your own pace.
There isn’t a single way to cope with losing a mum or dad, but there are small things that might help you manage:
A counsellor can also help you explore coping strategies that feel right for you following the loss of a parent.
It’s common for bereavement counselling to begin a little while after a loss. This allows time for your natural grieving process to unfold and this is when people often talk about the five stages of grief developed by Elisabeth Kübler-Ross (1969).
Everyone is different. Grief is not linear. Recognising when you think you may need support has no set time or ‘right moment’ to reach out.
You might seek counselling weeks, months, or even years after your mum or dad’s death if you’re feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or simply not yourself. Grief doesn’t follow a timetable; it often comes and goes in waves.
Talking with a counsellor can offer you a calm, non-judgemental space to explore your feelings and help you begin to make sense of what’s happening now and what happened at the time.
If you’d like to talk about how bereavement counselling could support you, please feel free to get in touch with me.
