How to Choose a Couples Counsellor You Both Trust

The decision to seek couples counselling is a huge one. But how to can one find the right counsellor? That may seem like a complete different challenge

You are possibly already juggling complex discussions, contradictory feelings and perhaps even indecision regarding whether counselling will be of any use at all. Then there is the thought that adding in the finding someone we both feel good about can be too much.

And here is the good news, you do not need to get it right. Someone you can both feel reasonably safe with, who understands relationships, who listens without judgement and helps the two of you feel heard.

This guide will take you through the process of picking a couples counsellor that both of you can trust, and will introduce you to four professionals with years of experience in the relationship field that offer services right here at the Sheffield Wellness Centre.

What to look for in a Couples Counsellor

Not all counsellors work with couples, nor do those that do have the same style or approach. Here are some of the things that can make both of you feel more confident in the decision:

• Experience with couples and not individuals only
  To work with two people simultaneously is also different. An effective couples counsellor will be aware of the need to balance both voices, power dynamics and strong emotions without being overwhelmed by them.
• A non-judgemental presence
  You need someone who helps to create an environment where you both do not feel like you are ganged against or left behind.
• A working style that suits your circumstance
  Some couples desire to get into more emotional patterns. Others seek practical communication tools. A good counsellor is versatile but it is helpful to know his or her style.
• A sense of equality
  You are not required to “like” your counsellor at first sight, yet the two must feel that they are both fair and respectful, and not taking sides.

To gain a closer insight into the factors that contribute to the success of couples therapy, this research article on PubMed examines the techniques and attitude that leads to long-term change.

About the SWC Couples Counsellors

At the Sheffield Wellness Centre we have a small but growing group of therapists we trust and work with who have experience in relationship work. Here is some brief information about the four counsellors assisting couples:

Sarah Drabble
Sarah is friendly, pragmatic and very earthy. Her style of working with couples is person centred and integrative, which means she adapts therapy sessions to your needs, rather than applying one particular approach. Sarah tends to focus on the work of restoring communication between couples and restoring emotional connection.

She has a style that works well with couples who need space to think, feel listened to, and redevelop some sense of understanding.

Yuli Angelidou
Yuli has a background in psychology and systemic therapy and can be particularly useful to couples with complex or long-term problems. She is also adept at getting individuals to understand the larger picture of the dynamics of their relationship and how it is impacted by family dynamics and past patterns.

Couples tend to describe her as perceptive, peaceful and deadpan provocative, in a good way.

Jo Jenkins
Jo is sensitive, very much trauma informed and her approach is very reassuring to many of her clients. She holds on to the prospects of growth despite the sense of stagnation or instability in relationships. When you are feeling especially anxious or overwhelmed, Jo is a calming, thoughtful presence.

She is also credited with being very human and honest in her work, she does not use therapy jargon but speaks the real language.

Bonnie Davies
Bonnie has a compassionate open nature to her counselling. She has worked with clients during challenging life changes, such as trust, intimacy and major life transitions. She is soft-spoken but direct, so this can be effective when couples must discuss something that is difficult to define.

Oftentimes Bonnie can help couples penetrate deeper and connect with each other in a more sincere and caring manner.

Rebecca Llewellyn
Rebecca gained a degree in counselling in 2007 and then added in post graduate studies in sex and relationships. Thanks to her specialist training and significant in person experience built up over many years she is ideally suited to help couples where sex issues are at the core or the difficulties you might have been facing.

What Do You Do When You Disagree?

It is normal that one of the partners would be more ready than the other to attend the counselling session. or you to react in differing ways to a style of a counsellor.

One good idea is to have a brief conversation with the counsellor prior to the booking, or read their profile in company. Ask each other, “Do they seemingly like somebody we can speak to?” Trust that intuition you have more than you realize

And the initial session is not a contract. It is a place to start.

Testimonials

The following are the testimonial of one couple who attended SWC:

“We were in the same circle of discussion with no change. Counselling made us aware of the reasons and provided an alternative means of approaching it. We felt heard without judgement.”

The idea is that feeling of being understood and supported that is what we want to achieve with each couple who come to us.

What to do now

By considering couples counselling, you are doing something optimistic. In your way, you are saying it is the relationship that counts.

The following thing is selecting a professional to share the journey with.

More about couples counselling can be found on the Sheffield Wellness Centre blog or by making filling in the contact form on the therapist’s bio page.

There is no commitment and no pressure. So just a chat. And sometimes it is all you need to begin changing things.